it's time to begin, isn't it
by leviadrache
Summary: Durbe has this special wish. It's the only wish he ever had and a wish, fate doesn't seem to care about.


Nothing lasts for ages, they say. Even if it seems like it does, it still won't be exactly how it used to.

Which, in his case, literally means ages.

Durbe did some research in one of these human libraries. Apparently, both of their kingdoms, both of their cultures have been destroyed hundreds of years ago and while he's not sure how time in the Barian World could be compared to time in the human world or if it's even comparable (it's hard to keep track of time in the Barian World, where there's no real night and no real day, where the moon and the stars never seem to move), so it's hard to tell exactly how long Nasch has been missing, how long both of them have been apart, but to him, the ten years Nasch and Merag lived in the human world as Ryoga and Rio seemed long enough to be described as ages.

He thinks, or at least likes to think, that he handled things rather well in Nasch's absence, though he still can't really help but tense every time Nasch goes somewhere, he hasn't been after his return yet, and wonder if Nasch might react in some kind of unhappy or disappointed way.

He can't help, but feel afraid that maybe Nasch would think Durbe messed up everything while he wasn't there to constantly tell him and the others what to do.

He can't help, but feel afraid that maybe Nasch found somewhere else to belong to, that he found someone else to belong to.

_(He hates to know that his fears became reality.)_

Not that he thinks Nasch really _belongs_ to him. It's just that he knows that the both of them share a special connection, a connection that can't be compared to the one he and Mizael share, can't even really be compared to what Nasch and Merag have, although that's a little closer to it.

Secretly, he likes to think that Merag and Nasch maybe have been through three lives as siblings, and while he knows that their bonds are way beyond the bonds any other siblings share, since in their past lives they already were extraordinarily close, even for a pair of twins, but still he likes to think the reason for them staying together was the fact that they were born to the same parents, on the same day, fated to stay together from the very beginning.

He likes to think that his bond with Nasch is different. Fate didn't tie them together right from the start, it was never necessary for them to meet.

Still, they did and they've been together for such a long time. He remembers how in their past lives, people always pointed out how close they were, way closer than a prince and a foreign knight should be, but not even that could keep them apart.

Looking back, there would have been lots of chances for Nasch to tell Durbe to leave his kingdom or for Durbe to just leave them, to just leave him. He wasn't responsible for Nasch in any way and therefore could have just moved on and let Nasch alone. But still he stayed and went through so many things, always right besides Nasch, through countless battles, he was always there for the prince, even after Merag died, he'd never even considered to leave Nasch, hoping to always be able to stay with him.

A naïve wish somehow, but also a wish fate didn't crush right away, a wish fate let him have for such a long time, even after both of them died.

He likes to think that they were special for staying together even after death, likes to think that they could be together forever and even longer, but–

_Nasch laughs. He's with the Tsukumo boy and laughs in the way Durbe hasn't heard him laugh for such a long time. It stings him to hear Nasch laugh in this way when he's with that boy, because it's the laughter he has heard so often when they were still human, but only rarely heard ever since they became Barians. It's the laughter Nasch used to reserve only for Merag and him._

– but apparently fate had other plans for Nasch, for Ryoga, and apparently fate wanted him to stay alone. After all these years of waiting for Nasch to come back, it's just to have all of his hopes, the hopes of getting all the things both of them used to have back,

brutally crushed in front of his eyes.

_He sighs as he silently looks at the two boys walking right next to each other, looks at Nasch, who on one hand claims that he's still he same person he used to be, claims that he's still Nasch, but on the other hand also refuses to leave the friends he met as Ryoga, which is of cause just what Nasch would have done, but that doesn't make Durbe's heart feel any lighter._

_So eventually, he just shoves his hands into his pockets, turning around and walks in the exact opposite direction._

Well, that probably means it's time to move.


End file.
